Words Unspoken
by IceeeKitty
Summary: Love is a horrible thing. It can turn the best of people into the worst things. Love builds bonds, and then knocks them down. Love hurts. This story is about loving someone who can't see it, and not seeing how much someone loves you. Rated T just in case. If you have any suggestions that would improve my writing, please tell me. THANKS!
1. Chapter 1

**This is the prologue and first chapter of my new story Words Unspoken. Hope you like it!**

**Prologue**

I believe in love at first sight. No, I've never actually felt it before, but I feel like it can happen. I mean, why not? Why shouldn't it happen? I'm sure someone, somewhere, can attest to the fact that love at first sight does, indeed, exist.

But for me, the first time I saw him was far from love at first sight. In fact, we hardly acknowledged each other. Sure, we were clanmates, and we had the connection that all members of a clan share, but that was the extent of our feelings.

I was far more interested in becoming the best warrior I could be, and in taking the first step in that by being the best apprentice possible. I had no interest in any toms. I had my friends, my family, and my clan, and that was all I needed.

I don't think StarClan was playing tricks on me. I don't think fate was having fun toying with me and my emotions. This was all my fault, and I happily accept that blame.

What can I say?

Love is a twisted thing.

**Chapter One**

"Why not?" Icepaw whined next to me, her voice taking on that pleading tone that she always used when she was starting to devote herself to winning an argument. She wasn't going to win this one, though.

Not if I had any say in it.

"Because I simply don't! I'm not interested in him, and the sooner he realizes it, the sooner he can get over his heartbreak and the sooner things can get back to normal. You know that I want to focus on becoming a warrior," I responded, my own voice bordering on exasperation.

"Emberpaw, the tom slayer!" my friend crowed dramatically, pretending to fall over in a faint. I rolled my eyes, snorting with suppressed laughter.

"Oh come on Icepaw, enough with the theatrics!" I scolded playfully, finishing off my mouse.

"Come on what?" another voice asked, and I glanced up to see Stonepaw padding past us into the apprentices den.

"Icepaw's being stubborn again," I answered simply, trying to quell the thumping of my heart. It was a good thing I'd finished my mouse, otherwise I could easily have choked. I hated this feeling, it made me feel utterly helpless.

I hadn't told Icepaw yet, but even now, she was giving me skeptical looks, obviously catching onto something. I groaned inwardly, fearing the torrent of questions and interrogating I was sure to get later. Stonepaw smiled slightly, flicked his tail goodnight to the two of us, and slipped into the den.

"You have some explaining to do!" Icepaw hissed under her breath, thankfully taking the liberty of keeping her voice down.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I whispered back, setting my jaw stubbornly. I hated being accused, even by my friend.

"Oh you know exactly what I mean! Since when do you warm up around Stonepaw, or get slightly choked up?"

"I didn't-"

"Oh yes you did!" she quickly retorted, cutting me off effectively, "I was pressed against you, and your temperature spiked pretty fast, and you're voice definitely changed!"

I scowled, feeling cornered. I should've known she'd find out eventually, she was too intuitive for her own good sometimes.

But I still hated all of this, the entire feeling.

I hated falling.


	2. Chapter 2

**The second chapter of Words Unspoken.**

**Chapter Two**

Icepaw has her good side, and she faithfully kept my secret, only teasing me about it in secret.

Some people often ponder why we ever became friends, as we couldn't be more opposite if we tried, and quite truthfully, I don't know the answer myself. But friendship shouldn't have a reason.

It should just be.

"Are you ready for the ceremony today?" the white she-cat asked me, brushing against my side. I turned to face her, breaking into an excited smile.

"I couldn't be any more ready!" I declared, feeling anticipation flood through my veins. Today would be the day we became warriors. All other emotions, thoughts, and feelings aside, I could barely wait to hear my new name called out, hear the voices of my clanmates welcome me into their ranks as a warrior.

Not to mention, the apprentice den was exceedingly crowded. Two litters of kits had recently joined us in there, and it was high-time our "group" left the den, and helped fill out the warrior's den, which was rather empty.

"This time tomorrow, we'll be official warriors, finished with our vigil," a familiar voice spoke up behind us, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I can hardly wait!" I forced out, turning to smile at Stonepaw. Catching his gaze, I felt my mind start to swirl with broken memories of our apprenticeship. I could remember him asking if I wanted to go out and hunt with him. I could still feel his tail as it accidentally brushed my side as we ate together. I pictured us laughing, teasing, and playing around as we patrolled together with our mentors.

He put me on cloud nine.

"You're not the only one!" he responded, flashing me a smile and nodding to Icepaw before slipping off to talk with the other tom apprentice who would be becoming a warrior with us today.

"Oh, Stonepaw, I love you so! Stonepaw, you're so perfect! Stonepaw, Stonepaw, Stonepaw!" Icepaw crooned under her breath to me, her eyes twinkling mischievously. I gave her an annoyed look and padded away a few steps, my friend trailing behind me.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath the High Rock for a clan meeting!" The familiar summon rang out around us, and all of us scurried excitedly to the front of the gathering crowd. There would be five of us becoming warriors today, and all of us were gathered before the High Rock within a second, excitement bouncing between us.

As soon as everyone was gathered, Finchstar began to ceremony, his kind face smiling down at us. "Today, we welcome five apprentices, who have trained hard, as warrior of our clan! Icepaw, Silverpaw, Emberpaw, Pouncepaw, and Stonepaw, please step forward!"

Almost as one, we stepped forward, jostling each other in anticipation.

Icepaw was the first to earn her name, Icepetal. It was a pretty name, and in a way, it worked for her. I couldn't explain how, I just knew it was a fitting name. Pouncepaw, the other tom, was after her, earning the name of Pouncetail. Next came Silverpaw, the other she-cat who was with us. After she had been named Silverlight, it was Stonepaw's turn, leaving me last. As the last cheers of Stonefur died down, it was my turn.

I stepped forward, looking into my leader's eyes as he spoke. "Emberpaw, you have trained hard, and learned the noble ways of our code. Do you promise to defend and uphold the warrior code, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do," I responded evenly, trying hard not to seem as nervous and excited as I was.

Finchstar smiled in approval. "Then by the powers invested in me by StarClan, I give you your warrior name. From this moment on, you shall be known as Emberrose."

As the cheers rose around us, I could hardly contain my giddiness. Everywhere around us, our clanmates were calling our new names, coming over to congratulate us, swarming us with praise. I felt on top of the world.

"See you tonight during the vigil. Good job, Emberrose." I turned, feeling my heart jump again, as Stonefur slipped off, casting a smile back at me before continuing on.

Before continuing on after Silverlight. Before going to be with her. Talk with her. Walk with her.

I had never felt true jealousy before.

Until then.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the third chapter.**

**Chapter Three**

"Do you want to go hunting? You look like you could use it." Pouncetail padded up to my side, nudging me to grab my attention. I started, turning to face him before putting a smile on my face.

"Sure, thanks Pouncetail," I purred gratefully. We had been friends since kithood, and we had only grown closer through our apprenticeship. But not even hunting with him could kill the growing monster inside of me.

The jealousy monster.

As we padded through the undergrowth of our territory, he shot glances my way, obviously trying to read into me.

"What's up? You've looked a little off for awhile lately, and it's starting to worry me," he finally said, breaking the silence between us. I let out a heavy sigh, stopping to look at him. He stopped as well, his head tilted slightly to the side as he gave me a concerned look.

"I just... I feel broken, jealous, hurt," I answered, not meeting his gaze. I had never told him about my feelings, but I knew he could guess them.

"Because of Stonefur?" he guessed, not missing a beat. I nodded, not trusting my voice for a moment.

"Because of him. Because of Silverlight. Because she's so perfect, so amazing, and I can see the way he looks at her. The way they are together. No one can deny they're cute together but..." I trailed off.

"But you still love him." He stated it simply, as if he had already known all along. Knowing him, he probably had. I nodded again, finally lifting my gaze to meet his.

"I just can't help but run through all the memories I have, wondering what I misread, where I jumped to conclusions, what went wrong. What didn't I see before?"

"Love is a funny thing," Pouncetail told me, giving me a sad smile, "And it likes to play games with us."

I snorted. "Well I'm tired of playing. I quit."

"I know you're hurting," he said softly after a moment, "But don't let it eat you alive. I miss the bubbly and happy you, and I haven't seen her since you let this get to you. I'll be here for you if you ever need to talk."

With that, we began the hunt again, as if some unspoken command to end the conversation had been given. It felt good, having gotten it all out, and I was able to spend the rest of the day slightly more at peace with myself. But I wasn't over him.

I didn't know if I ever would be.


	4. Chapter 4

**YAY Chapter 4! Hope you like it!**

**Chapter Four**

I tried. I really did. I did everything in my power to shake off my feelings for Stonefur, and move on. I had never even told him how I felt anyways, so it wasn't like harboring the feelings would do any good.

Easier said than done.

Some days were better than others. It was hard not to be jealous of Silverlight, watching her with him. It was hard not to hurt when he was with me, knowing that I could never have what I wanted.

I valued our friendship, but I wanted to cry to the stars because that was all we could ever have.

Icepetal kept me sane, along with Pouncetail. I couldn't have asked for better friends.

"Will it ever get better?" I moaned to Pouncetail in despair, staring dejectedly at the river in front of us. The three of us, Pouncetail, Icepetal, and I, had all gone out to get some fresh air and away from the hustle and bustle of the camp.

Pouncetail pondered the question for a few moments, staring off into silence as he thought. Finally, he shrugged slightly. "It will get better, but... I don't know if it will ever go away. One day, you'll be able to look at them, and not feel a surge of pain and jealousy, but there will probably always be a little pang in your heart. Some days it will probably be more prominent than others, but it will get to the point that it no longer gets in the way of your friendship."

Icepetal gave a little teasing laugh. "Pouncetail the all-knowing!" she joked, trying to lighten the mood. I smiled at her, thankful for the effort, even if it was in vain.

They tried, and for that I would always love them.

"Thanks!" I laughed, though even to my ears it sounded half-hearted. Pouncetail gave me a sad smile and poked me with his tail.

"Come on, cheer up!" he pleaded, continuing to poke me until I started to laugh, worming away from him to avoid the tickling. He smiled, pleased with his work.

"There we go, that's the Emberrose I was looking for!"

I stuck my tongue out at him, pretending to sulk. But it had worked, I was smiling and laughing again. At least for today.

"Come on, we better get back before we're missed," Icepetal stated, getting to her paws and shaking the dirt off her white pelt. I sighed, copying her movements.

"Alright..." I muttered, not really wanting to go just yet. I didn't want this happiness to be sucked away by my still-present-yet-starting-to-fade jealousy and pain.

But I went back anyways, to face my inner demons.

That night I couldn't sleep. My mind was churning, refusing to settle down and let me drift off into dreams.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore.

Getting silently to my paws, I slipped out of the warriors den, careful not to wake anyone. I purposefully didn't look at Stonefur, not wanting another surge of pain to swamp me.

The night was clear and crisp, a beautiful summer's night.

"Where are you going, Emberrose?" one of the guards asked me as I padded out of the entrance. I turned to face the two warriors on night-duty.

"I can't sleep, I just need to walk about a little. I promise, if anything happens, I'll let out a yowl."

The two seemed to hesitate, not sure if they should let me out on my own. Finally they gave in and nodded me on. "Just be careful," they told me as I smiled gratefully and continued on my way.

The sound of rushing water had always calmed me, even though I wasn't from StreamClan. So I made my way for the river, taking my time and enjoying the silence and the time to myself.

Alone here, walking along the riverside, it was easy to forget all the negative feelings I'd been fighting off for so long. It was easy to pretend they never existed. But at the same time, I knew they were. I sighed heavily, stopping my walk and staring at the stars twinkling above me.

"You think this is funny?" I asked them, feeling a swell of pain flood through me, "You like watching me suffer so much because of one silly cat? Is this some sort of game for you? Because I don't find it funny at all!" I paused, half-expecting an answer.

But they were just stars, and I was just a hurting she-cat.

That was when it happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the short chapter!**

**Chapter Five**

I remember everything from that moment crystal clear. I remember the land beneath me start to slide, start to crumble. I let out a surprised yelp and tried to scramble away, but the earth was so soft from all the rain we'd had recently, that it was a futile effort.

I was plunged into the river, tossed about as if I was nothing more than a stray branch. I didn't know how to swim. No one in our clan ever learned how to. I used plain instinct to fight against the pulsing current, but that wasn't enough to keep my body from being slammed against the shore, against logs, against rocks, against anything that was in the water.

I could barely see, barely breath, let alone cry out for help. I was sure I was going to die. I might have been bleeding, but I wasn't sure. I hurt everywhere, I hardly knew up from down.

My mother had always commented on how stubborn I was when I was a kit, how I refused to lose a game, or would ignore anyone telling me I was wrong. As I floundered against the rush of the water, that memory came back to me, and I laughed inside my head, finding some sort of twisted amusement in it as I refused to sink, refused to drown.

It just couldn't end like this. What a terrible way to go out. I had so much life to live, so many more emotions to feel, more thoughts to have, laughs to let out with my friends.

StarClan couldn't just swoop in and steal all that from me!

Somehow, I managed to drag myself to safety. I still don't know how I did it, but I did. Perhaps it was my sheer stubbornness, maybe it was just chance. But either way, I had succeeded, and was safe. At least for the time being.

Laying on the shore, safely away from the water, I stared at the stars again, coughing up water, gasping for breath, trying to fight the darkness closing in. I was faintly aware of the blood seeping from my body and coating my fur. I hadn't realized how battered I had become in the river. I had felt numb back there, oblivious to the pain that I should have been feeling. But now, lying here, watching the stars twinkle back at me teasingly, I realized getting out of the water and onto shore had only been the first battle.

I had failed. I was completely spent, worn out from the battle with the river. I had no more energy to give to the next battle, I couldn't fight out the darkness closing in around me.

I wasn't stubborn anymore. I just wanted to make it all end. To give in, let the warmth starting to seep into me take over.

I was done, I was beaten.

_Goodbye..._

_There will be a part two! I'm writing it now!_


	6. Part 2 Chapter 1

**Part Two: After**

**Chapter 1 of the second part! Hope you like it!**

**Chapter One**

The first thought I remember having was wondering why StarClan looked so much like the LeafClan camp. My next thought was why Pounceblaze was in StarClan too.

"What happened? Why are you in StarClan?" I mumbled, trying to fight through the haze clouding my mind. The fuzzy brown tom seemed amused, and he laughed, relief shining in his eyes.

"StarClan? Emberrose, you're not dead. We thought you might be, but you fought through it." He smiled at me, and I could see how worried he had been.

"But... the river... the rocks..." I couldn't grasp the fact that I hadn't died. I had been so sure I was gone, leaving to join StarClan.

"When you didn't return a little before sunrise, one of the warriors on night-duty went to look for you. They found you bleeding profusely, and beaten up heavily. They dragged you here, and Willowleaf has been working tirelessly to keep you alive and patch you up. I'm not going to lie, you looked awful when you first came in. You were so cut up you looked like you'd had a run-in with a badger, not a river."

I closed my eyes for a moment, absorbing it all.

When I opened them again, Stonestrike had appeared, relief etched across his face.

"You've awake!" he declared, letting out a breath of air, "Thank StarClan! I was terrified..." he trailed off. I struggled to smile, wincing as pain surged through my body.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone," I said brilliantly, as if it had been my plan all along to almost die.

Stonestrike just smiled as Pounceblaze slipped off to do whatever it is Pounceblaze's do when their friend has awoken from a near-death experience. "I'm just glad you're okay," he murmured, closing his eyes a lot like I had a few moments earlier.

I felt my heart leap painfully, and I scowled inwardly. I couldn't believe he still had this effect on me. It was ridiculous.

_I'm over him! He's with Silverlight, not me. I need to accept that._ I scolded myself in my head.

"Me too," I purred aloud, trying to lighten the mood. Whether or not we could ever be more than friends, I wasn't about to let him suffer from worrying over my health. It worked. The grey-furred tom laughed, smiling a bit more, giving me an exasperated yet amused look.

"Please don't do that again," he instructed me, "Promise me that."

"I promise," I answered, my heart thumping against my chest. He smiled at my answer, something sparking in his eyes that made a lump start to form in my throat. I quickly fought against the feeling, refusing to have these feelings.

Stonestrike had settled down by my side, not really looking at me, but not totally ignoring me. It was a nice feeling, knowing that someone was watching over me, even though it was apparent I'd live. As the weight of all that had happened settled over me, I closed my eyes once more, feeling spent. I could barely believe it.

I was alive.


	7. Part 2 Chapter 2

**Part 2 chapter 2! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter Two**

Recovery was slow and painful. I was cut up everywhere from the rocks I had been slammed against, and Willowleaf made sure I was aware how lucky I was that I hadn't just been snapped in half.

She didn't need to though. I already knew.

Throughout my time in the medicine cat den, and in recovery, Stonestrike rarely left my side, only straying away when he had to. Pounceblaze came everyday, usually with some new way to keep my spirits up, and Icepetal came with him, or at a different time, spinning me wild, and probably exaggerated, tales of the day.

By the time I was completely free to leave the medicine den, everyone in the clan had come to see me at least once. It was touching.

Yet I couldn't help but crave Stonestrike's time with me. I wanted so badly to believe that it meant something, but I couldn't let myself think that way. I wouldn't do that again. I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

I wouldn't hurt myself like that again.

And yet my heart seemed determined not to listen. My fur felt as if it was on fire every time I leaned against him to walk. My heart thumped against my chest painfully every time he smiled at me, whispering in my ear how grateful he was I was okay.

Looking at Silverlight, however, I felt broken. I had no grudge against her, only jealousy, and seeing the look on her face when he came to be with me hurt. I hardly knew what to feel.

I tried to remember the pain I had felt inside when he had been with her instead of me, tried to justify this, tried to tell myself it was okay that he was with me right now, instead of her.

And eventually, I believed myself.

I was falling again, no matter how silly or thoughtless it was. I couldn't help it. The heart is a funny thing, and it was only proving this more and more. Each day I fell a little more, and each day the pain and hurt from before left me a little more until I no longer felt it.

I was almost deliriously happy.

"Willowleaf said I can start my warrior duties again tomorrow!" I told Pounceblaze excitedly as we sat together in the medicine cat den. My friend smiled at me happily just as Icepetal walked in.

"Why the big smiles?" she asked perkily, plopping herself down beside Pounceblaze and I.

"I can go back to being a warrior tomorrow!" I repeated, feeling excitement bubble through me. I had missed the patrols, the hunts, the general duties of a warrior. I was ready for my life to fully return to me.

"Some might think you'd rather go to the nursery..." she mumbled under her breath, her blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

"What?" I choked out, caught by surprise. I glanced at Pounceblaze, but he refused to meet my gaze, his mouth twitching into a smile despite his best efforts. "What are you talking about?"

"Calm down!" Icepetal laughed, flicking me lightly with her tail, "I was just teasing! But seriously, you think no one's noticed how much time you and Stonestrike have been spending together?"

I gaped, at a loss for words. It was true we had been spending most of our days together, but it hadn't gone anywhere. We just... hung out. It didn't mean we were mates.

"Seriously Emberrose, calm down! It was just a joke!" Pounceblaze laughed, turning to smile at me. I sighed, rolling my eyes, before laughing with them.

I knew they had been joking.

But my heart couldn't help but jump anyways.


	8. Part 2 Chapter 3

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three**

"Welcome back!" Pounceblaze crowed as I padded into the warriors den the next day. I smiled back at him, my spirits soaring as I breathed in the familiar scent of my clanmates. The joy I felt in returning was unparalleled.

Everything was perfect.

"Glad to see you here again," a familiar voice meowed in my ear, and it took all my self-control to not grin like a silly apprentice.

"I'm glad to be back," I answered, trying to seem as if I was addressing everyone, when all I wanted to do was turn and face Stonestrike, talk to him, remind myself again that this was real. That everything had changed.

That I was living what had once been only a daydream.

"Then we should celebrate by going out hunting. You're probably dying to get back out," he purred to me, causing my heart to beat just a little faster. I was so in over my head, I couldn't even comprehend it.

"Sure!" I responded, glancing around at the other warriors. Silverlight put on a smile, but shook her head. I felt a pang inside me. I knew how she felt, how hurt, how pained, how left behind she must have been feeling. I hated knowing I was the cause of that.

And yet... I couldn't help it. I was falling for Stonestrike, faster than I knew was possible.

Pounceblaze and Icepetal both shook their heads as well, smiling encouragingly at me. They were letting us hunt alone.

"Looks like it's just us then," Stonestrike said simply, his eyes sweeping the den one last time before he returned them to me. "Shall we go then?"

I nodded, trying not to look too joyous. As we padded away together, I felt as if I was on top of the world, floating on clouds. As if I would never have a single sad thought again. The feeling was intoxicating, I felt like I couldn't get enough. It seemed as if the world around me was blurred, my only thoughts, my only sights, revolving around him.

For awhile, we trotted on in silence, neither of us eager to break the quiet. I didn't mind. I'd always been a quiet cat, and found no fault in not carrying on a conversation. For me, being here, near the tom who made my heart flutter frantically in my chest, was more than enough. More than I thought I could ever have.

It was Stonestrike who finally broke the delicate yet peaceful silence between us.

"I'm kind of glad it's just the two of us..." he started, looking over at me with a small smile. My heart jumped as he spoke, hearing those words.

"I am too," I blurted before I could think. I felt my pelt grow warm instantly, but the grey-furred tom only smiled, seemingly pleased with my answer. Some sort of fluttery, kit-like emotion filled my insides, and I was surprised, for a moment, that I didn't just collapse from feeling so light.

"Because I really like you," he added, continuing his earlier sentence. I stopped, caught by surprise at this plain and simple declaration. I almost couldn't believe it. It was the last thing I had ever thought I would hear from him. The only thing I had yearned to hear.

"But... what about Silverlight? I thought... I thought you two were, you know..." I trailed off, struggling for words. I couldn't help but ask it, I had to know. Had to know what had happened.

Stonestrike looked almost pained, and he lifted his gaze to the sky, letting out a heavy sigh. "Silverlight is an amazing she-cat, and whoever ends up her mate will be a lucky fellow indeed. But when you almost died, I thought I was going to die myself. I couldn't even imagine it. That was when I realized I had been falling for you, without even realizing it. I told Silverlight a little while ago. She knows."

I gaped, not sure how to react. It was everything I could have ever wanted. The tom I had loved ever since we had been apprentices was admitting that the feeling was reciprocated. When I still didn't say anything, he glanced over at me worriedly.

"I'm just... at a loss," I admitted, still struggling for a proper response, "But I couldn't be happier right now."

He smiled, and I returned the gesture, my heart soaring.

Everything I had ever wanted, was here.


	9. Part 2 Chapter 4

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter Four**

I paced the camp anxiously, barely able to contain my excitement. My face kept splitting into an over-eager grin, but I couldn't help it. I felt as if my insides were bursting with joy.

It had been many, many moons since I had gone hunting with Stonestrike that day. Life had only gotten brighter since then, and even Silverlight's initial sorrow had faded away, and it wasn't long before other toms began to court her, trying to fix her broken heart.

"Emberrose, calm down!" Icepetal laughed as she padded over to my side, nudging me affectionately. I smiled back, grateful as always for my faithful friend.

"I'm trying!" I retorted, flicking her with my tail.

"Well try harder! You'll hurt yourself!"

I rolled my eyes at her, still smiling. As the sun-high patrol began to troop back into the camp, I pulled myself away from her side, searching the cats for a particular grey tom. As soon as I spotted him, I dashed over, greeting him with a lick on the forehead.

"Well hello to you too!" he laughed, returning the gesture of affection as he detached himself from the group, "Someone's in a good mood!"

I smiled wider, hardly able to keep still. The eagerness was killing me, eating away at my insides. "I just have a lot to be happy for!" I responded, rubbing against him gently. He purred, twining our tails.

"Oh? And what could that possibly be?" he teased, watching me.

"Well, I have you! And this amazing clan, and my friends, and all my clanmates, and maybe an apprentice at some point, and... our kits." I let the last part hang, carefully studying my mate's face for his reaction.

His eyes widened, and he paused, trying to decide if I was joking or not. Seeing that I was serious, he began to laugh, only to switch to purring, nuzzling me fiercely.

"That's wonderful!" he murmured into my ear.

"You really think so?"

"Of course."

In the end, there were four of them. Four healthy kits. Two toms and two she-cats, just like I had always dreamed of having when I had been little, before the determination to become the best warrior ever had taken me. They were all beautiful, in their own way.

I felt as if no other cat could be luckier, or happier, than I was. It simply wasn't possible.

"What should we name them?" Stonestrike whispered, rousing me out of the light sleep that had begun to wash over me.

"Hmmm..." I mumbled, thinking, as I properly re-awoke my mind. "What about... Mistkit for her," I pointed to a small little grey tabby she-kit, her white paws churning against my belly.

"And Flamekit for this one," Stonestrike decided, motioning to the largest tom, his ember-colored fur a bright beacon among his grey-furred siblings.

"Ravenkit, I think, for him," I motioned to the other tom, the only black kit in the litter. He resembled Stonestrike's mom strikingly.

"And how about Dewkit for the little she-kit?" he asked, referring to the smallest of the litter, and the last she-kit. I nodded sleepily, purring in contentment.

"Perfect..." I murmured.

Stonestrike smiled, licking the top of my head as I drifted off. "Just like you..." he whispered.

I purred softly, at peace with everything.

With life.


	10. Part 2 Chapter 5

**Last chapter of part 2!**

**Chapter Five**

Everything was blurry. Not strikingly blurry, where I couldn't see anything but shapes, but blurry if I looked too far away. It confused me, as I'd always had wonderful sight. And this shouldn't have happened so quickly.

The kits were only a moon old, but already they were trouble makers, romping around and getting into everything they shouldn't have been.

But I couldn't keep track of them as the blurriness continued to gnaw away at my sight. It was perplexing.

"Willowleaf?" I called out, padding slowly into the medicine cat's den. I had left my kits with the other queen for the time being, deciding to take matters into my own paws. I needed to figure out this whole vision thing.

"Yes, what is it Emberrose? Is everything okay?" The slight she-cat appeared from her den, studying me anxiously. I could imagine her worry, with me being a queen and all. I shook my head at her, smiling to calm her down.

"For the most part, yes," I told her, pleased to see the relief in her face. "But... there is one thing..." I trailed off, still frustrated that this was even a problem.

"What is that?" she asked, studying me as if she could somehow see what I meant by looking at me hard enough.

"It's just... it's my sight. I don't know what happened, but things are getting blurry. And it's not getting better. If anything, it's getting worse."

Willowleaf frowned, getting up and staring into my eyes intently. I tried not to blink, letting her do her job. Worry was trickling through my veins. I hoped something wasn't wrong, that this was just a funny little sickness that would pass on its own.

"Well, I can't see what's wrong with you. You're certainly not going blind, at least not how cats usually do. I'll get you some herbs, and tomorrow report back and tell me if there's any improvement or worsening, or no change," she instructed before shuffling off back into her den to fetch the things she needed.

I waited for her patiently, fidgeting slightly as I sat there. It wasn't helpful, having her tell me she had no idea what was wrong. But I had to trust that she would do everything in her power to help me. She had saved me from death, she had helped deliver my kits... I could trust her.

After a few moments, she came back, clutching a few leaves that looked familiar, but that I could never have named. "Here, eat these, as bitter as they may be, and come back tomorrow. If it starts getting worse fast, come find me today." She pushed the leaves towards me, and I cringed inwardly, remembering my fair share of foul and bitter herbs.

But I knew it was best to do as she said. Leaning down, I quickly swallowed what she had given me, shuddering as the bitter taste lingered on my tongue even after the leaves had disappeared into my stomach.

"Thank you," I murmured, dipping my head to her before slipping back to the nursery, greeting my kits enthusiastically as they bounded out to say hello.

The day wore on, and although my sight remained blurry, it never got worse. By the end of the day, I was slightly optimistic. After all, it hadn't been getting worse, and maybe it just needed time to get better.

As my kits snuggled against my side, I sighed happily, feeling content. My earlier anxiety was only a memory, no longer bothering me.

It was awhile after the four kits had already fallen asleep that I finally felt the familiar tug of tiredness myself.

That was when it happened.

My vision began to swim, and I began to panic, feeling my heart thump against my chest, and not in the good way. The blurriness was taking over until I could barely see shapes and colors, let alone individual things.

I felt as if I was drowning all over again, as if I was losing everything. I began to grasp in vain at anything around me, as if it would change anything. I tried to yowl out, but something was blocking air from going out. Or getting in, for that matter. I didn't know what was happening, and I didn't know what to do.

I could do nothing as I fell away from this perfect life, this reality that had seemed as if nothing bad could ever happen. I couldn't see my clanmates, my kits, my mate. They were all gone, lost to the blackness taking over.

Everything was falling away.

**Don't worry, there IS an Epilogue.**


End file.
